8 days left; so SOON! When I came here I did not know exactly what I would do. My plans were vague. I wanted to meet some acquaintances in person that I had met on the internet and I wanted to go to the beach. So far I have met most of the people I wanted to meet; only 2 left and maybe I will not see them. I have been to subic bay beach and swam and it was very nice.
When I came to the area I am in now last Sunday I was not sure what to expect. I came here to meet Jocel and Jamaica. But neither has a home that is habitable for visitors so they asked their friend Benita to put me up for a while. Now it is my filipino family. They have treated me wonderfully. I have cooked some and I buy food and help with some cash but I am often met with resistance from them if I try to help with anything.
Benita is a kind of den mother in this neighbourhood. She connects some people to her electricity if they can't get connected themselves probably due to previous
defaults. She meters them and then they pay her, sometimes. In a week I have seen several women come here to borrow money from her. Not substantial amounts but she
tells me often that she does not expect that they will repay her. She is a terrific woman and her family is treating me wonderfully. To her and her ex, I am Don. To
her sister and brother and cousin I am kuya (Big Brother) and to her kids I am Uncle Don. I always get hugs from 7yo Mary Joyce and even 13 yo Tintin will give me a
kiss on the cheek when she is heading out to school.
It is hand-to-mouth exisitence here for many people. Each day is an effort to get enough pesos for dinner or to pay the rent or electricity, etc. Unfortunately some are on drugs so when they do get some pesos it goes to drugs rather than food and milk for the kids. Too many men especially have no work or are too lazy to find work so they sit around while the wife works and looks after the kids. Maybe the men will find another woman with a job and leave his wife high and dry with a bunch of little ones and no means of support. School costs money here and it also costs to send them there and back in tricycles or jeepnies so often kids will stay home. I know one 16yo who is a sweet girl and she hasn't been to school since Grade 6. Her family says no money for that. Benita has told me about some of the girls going to prostitution around here as young as 12, with the blessing of their parents. Her father doesn't care because she will
bring in some money for him and her mother is desperate to feed her family. Some very sad situations around here.
Benita and her ex did well previously. They previously owned a scrap shop connected to their home and she worked various jobs including factory work. When they had enough
money they bought a bigger home and they rent the previous home and scrap shop. He has since opened another scrap shop but he spends most of his time at benita's. His brother takes care of the shop when he is not around. She is a good money manager and after taking care of her kids she made improvements to her home and invested small amounts. They lived on a minimal amount but always made sure the essentials were covered first. She said it does not matter if you are poor or not but there is no excuse for the kids or their clothes to be dirty. They all shower at least once a day. Now she can afford for her and her sister to study the 2-year caregiver course. They will finish soon. She has always set goals and then works to achieve them. She is doing well.
It has been a wonderful experience for me. I will never forget this trip. I am sure there are many who would not like it here. There are some aspects that are not comfortable. Of course the noise and pollution is at the top. The poverty, the lack of garbage removal, the dirt, the lack of flush toilets, dippers of cold water for showers, filipino food, constant staring, lack of safety at night, theft, etc., etc. Oh, also the cockroaches and rats hehehe. Most nights when I turn on my light I will see one the roaches run for cover. They are big, for me at least. Maybe over an inch. They don't hardly notice them here. One night I went to the kitchen for a coffee and the ex and brother were preparing some food and a roach ran across the kitchen table. They laughed at my reaction. Two nights in a row last week we were sitting in the courtyard and a rat came in under the gate and ran down the courtyard to far end. Hardly a blink. I am actually surprised I hadn't encountered them before with all the garbage around but I had thought with so many semi-feral cats and dogs here that they must be controlling them. When I mentioned that I got a
laugh. "No, the cats and dogs are afraid of them" Maybe the cats and dogs are smarter than they look.
But for me, the genuine friendliness and excitement of living a difficult culture, immersing in it really, has been exhilarating. Yesterday Benita and I spent the afternoon in what I call downtown. I had some errands to run and so did she. It is only 10-15 minute walk out of this neighbourhood but it feels like another city. Here there is little traffic because cars can't get in here. It is like an isolated area. Outside of here there is the noise and dust and fumes of traffic and hordes of people. I needed to get my watch fixed because the stem broke off. I was going to toss it but they said no, it can be fixed. Sure enough we found a small street stall with a man who replaced the stem for less than $5. Next was a haircut for me and a manicure/pedicure for Benita.
Total about $4. It was a laugh because the guys in the salon were very gay and turned inside out when they saw me. hahaha. benita told them I was available!! I also needed eye drops because my eyes get sore from the dust and also some cold medication. I picked up a minor cold this week. After buyng food it was back home. I made a large pot of chile and it disappeared with only a bowlfull left. I will make hamburgers tonight.
I started this letter days ago and since I didn't send it I will continue it here. Internet time is not easy here. There is a DSL line so one user. With 4 teenagers checking their facebook and benita often on with friends and even 7yo Mary Joyce gets on to play games, online time is at a premium and then sometimes the connection drops. Today is good because there are only 4 of us here today.
They wake early here on school days. 7yo Mary Joyce and 12yo Gerald are up by alarm at about 4am. They will get breakfast and maybe shower. Benita and her ex will be up by 4:30-5:00 to help them. Their father takes them to school by motorcycle about 5:25. School starts for the early classes at 6:00. There are so many kids and not enough schools that schools here in Manila do double classes. I don't know if that is true throughout Phils. The early classes go 6:00-12:00 with 30 min break at 9:00. The late classes go 12:30-6:30. In this home, the 7yo and 12yo are in early classes and the 13yo is in late classes. The time of your classes changes at least twice a year, maybe 4 times so that you are not stuck with all early or late classes all year.
The family is concientious about personal cleanliness and clothes but not so much about the home. Food is left out until someone decides to throw it out or eat it. Meanwhile flies and ants are having their lunch. Dishes are not done until someone feels like doing them. Floors are washed now and then. I am glad I brought my slippers. Clothes are washed almost daily but the kitchen area is not do good. I am not the best housekeeper but I don;t like food lying around.
It is a quiet day today. If I am ambitious I will try o send another letter. So many things to say. Yesterday I treated the family and some teenage girl friends of the family to a picnic and visit to a wildlife park. 12 of us in total. Very little wildlife but it was an enjoyable outing. I also took the kids for a couple of rides at an amusement park. Not a cheap outing for me. There were two girls who came with us that I was happy to see have fun. Their lives are very bad. Druggy fathers and dirt poor homes. One girl spends most of her time caring for two babies while her parents try to make money or buy drugs...whichever. They had fun. The frrisbees got a workout for the first time. It was so good to hear them laugh. Tough life here for so many kids
See you later
Don
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