Back from my mini-trip‏

Hi,

It was a nice visit. I went to Liyang to vist lijun for two days. I think you all know that Lijun was a student of mine last year at JPU and graduated with her English major. I still can't understand why they are ok living without heat. I slept with all my clothes plus a sweater and two quilts. THey have an A/C but they don't turn it on. Too expensive. So they walk around all day with multiple layers of clothes and it is ok? No hot water. They get about 7 large thermoses of hot water a day. So each time someone leaves home they leave with a thermos or three and then they drop it off at the grandparents, because they sell hot water for 1.5 cents a thermos. So they go back and forth all day with thermoses so they can have hot water to wash in or for tea. They can also heat hot water on their stove in a kettle but they don't do that often because it uses gas. I was wearing my coat while watching TV. THey wear so many clothes. And they sleep with them on. THey will go days without changing clothes, well maybe underwear but I can't verify that. It is the closest to camping that I want to get. To me it would be like sleeping in a cabin without a fireplace and no hot water. After two days I was still cold and I was glad to leave. It is a different mindset. I guess it is what you are used to. It isn't that cold. Maybe a few degrees below zero. Obviously they couldn't do that at -20C but they are quite willing to do that; it is normal. Imagine being invited to dinner at someones home and you had to wear your coat and you could see your breath. But we have very cold winters and we need indoor heating. Here the winters are max about -8C but still no heat? I have heat. But I sure wouldn't want to stay at Lijun's any more than two nights. It is uncomfortable for me.

We went for hot pot, Lijun's favourite meal. We went with her younger cousin. I have no idea if they are related because aunt or uncle could be a friend of her parents; so a cousin could be one their children. Not cousin in our meaning. They have different meanings for aunt and uncle. They have many aunts and uncles who are not related to them. They are friends of the family. But when I question them they understand the difference in meaning. So then I find out if it is a relation or a friend. She was younger than Lijun and a little chubby. We also went with a guy who is trying to become Lijun's boyfriend (he sent her 11 roses because 11 is supposed to mean 'I will love you forever') so she wanted me to meet him. I thought he was a nice guy. He didn't speak much English so I couldn't talk to him but he seemed ok. He paid for dinner so I was ok with that! 216rmb for 4 of of us. I am not a big fan of hot pot. Mostly because everything tastes the same. You throw lettuce or squid or beef in the same pot and they all come out tasting the same. Lijun is not a small girl by Chinese standards; maybe 5'6" and 120lb but not big. The hot pot was a buffet so you could choose from 64 different dishes and eat as much as you wanted. THere was also fruit, desserts, soups. I was full and they ate for almost an hour after I was done. i couldn't believe how much they could stow away! The girls were eating everything! There were some things that I didn't want to know what they were but I tried some. No pig's brains this time but other stuff that looked weird. THen they got into ice cream, and then they were back into more hot pot foods. I thought they'd never be full! It is amazing how much they ate! I was quite full. THe beer was free. I had two. And I sat sipping away while they were getting more food. OK. Either thay don't eat like this all of the time or it is not fattening. I just sat and watched at the end. Lijun was finally full. Amazing. She couldn't eat like that every day or she would weigh 200 lbs! But every time that we have gone to eat she eats a lot. It doesn't matter as long as it Chinese food. So is there a secret to Chinese food?

After that we went to KTV (karoke). They sang for 3 hours. That was boring. I sang two English songs. They were only interested in the Chinese songs or Backstreet Boys.

Her parents treated me well. I always wake up early and her father got up and made breakfast for me. Cold meats, hot rice porridge, not very tasty. The cold meats are not to my liking but there was one dish that was good. It had boiled egg, pork meatballs and other parts of pork in it. I ate a lot of that. But the pig stomach. pig ears, I didn't like the texture. THe women slept in. Each morning Lijun didn't wake until 10:00. I was up 7:00.

It is strange life for me. I have visited the family 3 times and I still don't understand. Maybe 7 days in total. I accept but I don't understand. That is their life. They are not poor like we think as poor. They have money. I have no other families to compare it to so it is difficult. Are they super frugal or normal? She will never marry her boyfriend. She lived with him without their knowledge but now her boyfriend's family ( who are poor according to Lijun) realize that so they have forbidden him from having any contact with her. Such a strange society. Love doesn't matter. It is all about your future and all about the family. Happiness, love doesn't count. While I was there she found out that her boyfriend can't see her anymore. She knew that. Her parents won't allow it. But she still has that dream where he will get a good job and she will get a job and everything will work out. It won't. Meanwhile she will be introduced to marriageable guys. She doesn't have the strength to question any of this. It annoys me so much.

Mark (Xia) is her boyfriend. A little shorter than her and not terribly ambitious. If he wants her than he needs to work hard.She is worth it. and she loves him. But he will not have a chance unless he gets a better job. her dream is that Mark will get a government job and that she will also get a good job and then they will live happily-ever-after. It won't happen.

Talk to you later.

Don